The beginning
A few years ago, three great kids we know were removed from their mother's home. State workers took them away from their mom because she had a serious mental illness and was too sick to take care of them. (Even though their mom wasn’t diagnosed back then, everyone around her knew something was wrong -- the kids weren’t going to school, among many other things, so that’s why the state got involved.)
And so the kids went to live with their dad in another state. It was a huge transition for all involved; the kids knew nobody outside of their family members in their new town and they had to deal with different schools and with making new friends in the middle of the school year.
The kids were -- quite understandably -- scared, agitated and confused. They wanted to know what was going on and why they had been made to move out of their mom’s home and why THEIR mom had a mental illness and whether they could get it, too. They had lots of questions. And so their dad and stepmom went looking for information about mental illness that was geared to teens. Nothing existed in easy-to-understand language. And so the idea for this book was born.
We spent a year doing research and interviewed fifty people -- children and adults whose parent had a mental illness, professionals and the parents themselves. The stories that people shared with us were intensely personal and profound, and often represented some of the most difficult experiences anyone could imagine. Many of the people we talked to said it was the first time they had been able to tell their story.
Our goals with this book have stayed steadfast since the beginning: To help the millions of kids in this situation know that they’re not alone, that help is available and that the best thing they can possibly do is to take care of themselves.
And yes, the title for the book comes from a young woman we interviewed. When Rinna was around seven years old, she got to school and, at lunchtime, joined her friends in the cafeteria. When she examined the contents of her lunch bag, she discovered charcoal briquettes instead of anything edible. From that point on, she made her own lunch.
The writing of this book has been a huge gift to us, individually and together, as well as (we hope) a life-affirming force to anyone who's ever lived this experience, whatever his or her age or stage of life.
And, magically, writing this book has helped us find the words to explain to those three great kids what’s been going on with their mom. We’re hopeful that those kids, all adults now, can use this knowledge to help continue to build understanding, compassion, courage, strength and love out of what had been a very difficult passage in their lives.
-- Johanna Ambrosio and Lynn Kerner, February 2014
And so the kids went to live with their dad in another state. It was a huge transition for all involved; the kids knew nobody outside of their family members in their new town and they had to deal with different schools and with making new friends in the middle of the school year.
The kids were -- quite understandably -- scared, agitated and confused. They wanted to know what was going on and why they had been made to move out of their mom’s home and why THEIR mom had a mental illness and whether they could get it, too. They had lots of questions. And so their dad and stepmom went looking for information about mental illness that was geared to teens. Nothing existed in easy-to-understand language. And so the idea for this book was born.
We spent a year doing research and interviewed fifty people -- children and adults whose parent had a mental illness, professionals and the parents themselves. The stories that people shared with us were intensely personal and profound, and often represented some of the most difficult experiences anyone could imagine. Many of the people we talked to said it was the first time they had been able to tell their story.
Our goals with this book have stayed steadfast since the beginning: To help the millions of kids in this situation know that they’re not alone, that help is available and that the best thing they can possibly do is to take care of themselves.
And yes, the title for the book comes from a young woman we interviewed. When Rinna was around seven years old, she got to school and, at lunchtime, joined her friends in the cafeteria. When she examined the contents of her lunch bag, she discovered charcoal briquettes instead of anything edible. From that point on, she made her own lunch.
The writing of this book has been a huge gift to us, individually and together, as well as (we hope) a life-affirming force to anyone who's ever lived this experience, whatever his or her age or stage of life.
And, magically, writing this book has helped us find the words to explain to those three great kids what’s been going on with their mom. We’re hopeful that those kids, all adults now, can use this knowledge to help continue to build understanding, compassion, courage, strength and love out of what had been a very difficult passage in their lives.
-- Johanna Ambrosio and Lynn Kerner, February 2014